I think my problems were largely a matter of focus (and experience, and ability…) which is why I will be retiring 3 Minutes of Hell (at least for the time being) to launch a new, more focused site. My idea now is to focus myself specifically on televised boxing, mainly because that is my primary medium for watching fights and also because, well, I don’t see it critiqued anywhere else. I plan to delve into every aspect of every major (and many minor) boxing broadcasts in the good ol’ USA, from the fighters to the broadcasters to the channel and time slot. Thus, I will be largely eschewing fight previews and fighter profiles and throwaway columns like “The Emanuel Augustus All-Stars” to focus on boxing on the old teevee.

Again, I truly want to thank everyone who visited this site and, especially, those who came back. I will post a link for my new site when it is ready to roll, probably in the next week or two. I hope to see you there.

For those of you who visited this site, whether it was once by accident or repeatedly, I sincerely thank you. I hope you found something interesting or amusing to read. I welcome your feedback on how I can make this site better, what you liked and what you didn’t. I can be reached at scottkrausboxing@gmail.com. Keep watching the fights, keep supporting the sport and the great people in it, and when I return we can all have some things to catch up on.

I just want to extend a special thanks to Tim Starks at The Queensbury Rules for allowing me to guest blog on his outstanding site and for his perpetual help and support.

Thank you, Floyd Mayweather’s rib.

Before Mayweather got hurt and postponed his comeback fight with Juan Manuel Marquez from July to today, September 19, I was mildly interested in the fight. I looked forward to Mayweather’s comeback but I initially thought that Marquez had little chance and the fight itself was unlikely to inspire much interest.

Then Mayweather hurt his rib. Rumors abound about whether a sparring partner had cracked the previously unbreakable Pretty Boy. Floyd’s camp refused to offer more than a vague explanation for the injury, further fueling speculation. Boxing suffered a difficult summer sullied by tragic deaths, cancelled fights and controversy.

Then 24/7 started, featuring more Mayweather family drama, Nacho Beristain dropping more F bombs than Quentin Tarantino’s non-union Mexican equivalent, and, most memorably, Juan Manuel Marquez teaching us what “bebo urina” means. Then showing us.

Beyond that, once the predicted uproar over Mayweather fighting another undersized opponent subsided, the intrigue of the matchup began to take shape. Smaller man or no, Marquez represents the most technically skilled opponent of Mayweather’s career. If Mayweather has a rib injury, Marquez will exploit it. If Mayweather is rusty, Marquez will exploit that.

By taking what is credited by most boxing writers as the path of least resistence, Mayweather has, somewhat illogically, taken the riskiest course. Had Mayweather come back against the type of true welterweight that everyone (including me) wants to see him fight – Miguel Cotto and Shane Mosley come immediately to mind – a loss would be excused by the layoff and by the caliber of the challenge. Fairly or not, Marquez is not viewed as the same level of challenge that Cotto or Mosley would be. A loss to Cotto or Mosley would have been devastating to Mayweather personally because he cherishes his undefeated record but the boxing world would probably embrace him for finally fighting the challengers we desire most. A loss to Marquez will devastate Mayweather and his fans and fuel the large and rabid segment of boxing fans that dislike his flamboyance and arrogance out of the ring and his cautious style and choice of opponents between the ropes. A loss to Cotto or Mosley would be a setback. A loss to Marquez would be a catastrophe.

On the flip side, Marquez has nothing to lose. In fact, in a sense he has already won. He will receive the largest purse of his career, bolstered another $600,000 when Mayweather came in two pounds above the contracted 144-pound limit. He is receiving by far the most mainstream US media exposure of his career. He managed to one-up Mayweather on 24/7 with his unusual drinking habits. If he beats Mayweather it would be a legendary upset and one of the greatest achievements by a Mexican boxer in history. Marquez would likely elevate in popularity with the Mexican boxing fans to the closest thing to Julio Cesar Chavez since the legend retired. A third showdown with Manny Pacquiao would suddenly be the most anticipated fight in boxing.

Unfortunately for Marquez and his fans, I don’t see it happening. I have tremendous respect for Marquez as a fighter but I think the size, speed, and matchup with Floyd will present too many problems for him. Floyd is likely to start slow and Marquez could pick up some early rounds with his activity and accurate punches. The middle rounds will likely see Mayweather finding the holes in Marquez’s defense and exploiting them. I think Mayweather will have his best success with his counter left hook, one of his best punches. In the late rounds, I see the wars that litter Marquez’s resume bearing fruit as Mayweather lands more and more hard, accurate punches. I am tempted to predict a late Mayweather knockout but I respect Marquez’s heart and durability too much to pull the trigger. Ultimately, however, I think Floyd will take a close but clear decision in a technical and highly skilled fight that will nonetheless be fairly entertaining.

I will also take a look at the major fights from the two televised cards scheduled for Friday night on ESPN2 and Showtime. The slow summer is finally behind us!

Guillermo Rigondeaux (2-0) vs Giovannni Andrade (60-11), Friday, ESPN2 – After two fights against the type of inexperienced opponents that new professionals typically fight to build confidence, gain experience, and enhance their records, Rigondeaux hits the fast track in just his third fight, taking on 71-fight-veteran Andrade in a scheduled ten-round affair. This is what was expected of the heralded Rigondeaux, one of the most decorated amateur fighters in history. Andrade has fought a who’s-who of the smaller weight classes and has been knocked out early by most all of them but this is still a real test in only Rigondeaux’s third fight without headgear. I expect an early Rigondeaux knockout but I will be watching with interest because I think his potential is almost limitless.

 Travis Kauffman (18-0) vs Tony Grano (15-1-1), Friday, Showtime – Kauffman is an undefeated American heavyweight, so there is reason to be interested in his fights unless he proves himself to be a paper prospect in the ring. He has not really been tested yet, but Grano could provide more stern opposition than Kauffman’s previous opponents. We should have a better idea of Kauffman’s prospects after this fight.

Chris Avalos (11-0) vs Giovanni Caro (13-7-4), Friday, Showtime – Avalos impressed in his last appearance on ShoBox, stopping Andre Wilson in the second round. Caro’s record is nondescript but he fought gamely against Bernabe Concepcion last September before being stopped in the eighth round. Avalos is exciting and Caro is tough so this should be good while it lasts but I expect Avalos to score a knockout in the later rounds.

Chris John (42-0-2) vs Rocky Juarez (28-4-1), rematch, Saturday, PPV – After years of being a name in the rankings and a grainy YouTube spectre, Chris John made his long-anticipated (by me, anyway) US debut when he drew with Rocky Juarez in a spirited fight in February. John was reportedly ill during the bout and was fighting in Texas, friendly confines for Juarez, yet he still showed why he is considered one of the best fighters in the world. Juarez, meanwhile, has received a million title opportunities and has yet to cash in, with a glaring 0-4-1 record in title fights (counting his loss to Humberto Soto for a vacant title in 2005). I’m looking forward to the rematch but have doubts that it will be as entertaining and closely contested as their first matchup. On neutral turf and without illness bogging him down, John should be able to utilize his superior speed and activity to earn a more clear-cut decision this time around.

Michael Katsidis (25-2) vs Vincente Escobedo (21-1), Saturday, PPV – To me, this is the fight that elevates the Mayweather-Marquez undercard to must-see status. Katsidis has been involved in no less than three fight of the year candidates in the past two years. His fight with Joel Casamayor last year was an epic slugfest, as were his battles with Graham Earl and Czar Amonsot in 2007. Escobedo, meanwhile, is a former super-prospect who was derailed by Daniel Jimenez in 2006 but has won 12 fights in a row since, including a rousing battle with Carlos Hernandez back in April. The winner of this fight should be in line for a title shot at lightweight sometime next year. Both fighters are young, hungry, action fighters in a bout with a lot on the line – what more could you ask? I think that Escobedo will win because he is faster and slightly more technical but this is truly a fight where anything can happen. Expect blood. Expect drama. Expect a damn good fight.

Mikkel Kessler KO.4 Gusmyr Perdemo/Andre Ward TKO.3 Shelby Pudwill (Saturday, September 12) – The risks were fairly steep but well calculated going in. If Kessler or Ward suffered an injury or lost on Saturday, the Super Six tournament would have sprouted a serious black eye before any punches were thrown. However, Kessler and Ward did exactly what they were supposed to do, dominating overmatched opponents on the split-site doubleheader to set up their November showdown in the first round of Super Six bouts. Both opponents (Perdemo and Pudwill) put forth admirable efforts but ultimately Kessler and Ward were far too skilled. Kessler unleashed his impressive power and Ward demonstrated his considerable arsenal of skills in the very definition of showcase fights. Not much else to say, except that this was the first card on Showtime since Nick Charles was diagnosed with cancer. The Showtime crew wished Nick a speedy and successful recovery, as do I.

Ivan Calderon TD.7 Rodel Mayol (rematch, Saturday, September 12) – Calderon has been one of the best technical fighters in the sport for years. Unfortunately, he fights no higher than junior flyweight and American audiences are almost entirely unfamiliar with his work. The fact that he appears to be gradually but tangibly eroding as a fighter is also unfortunate. This was the third fight in a row in which Calderon suffered a gash from an accidental headbutt that forced the stoppage of the fight. After fighting to a technical draw in June in a close fight that was difficult to score, Calderon earned the split decision in a fight that followed the same description. Calderon was a little more defensive and, as a result, a little more effective this time around. Mayol was more aggressive and landed his share of punches but he also missed a lot more than he landed and struggled more with Calderon’s defense and foot speed than he had in their first meeting. There is talk of matching Calderon with Brian Viloria, the hard-punching trinket-holder from Hawaii who met Calderon in the amateur ranks. That fight, or another significant fight at the lower weight classes, needs to be made for Calderon soon, before the sun sets absolutely on his prime.

Roman Martinez KO.9 Feider Viloria (Saturday, September 12) – Martinez made his first defense of the title he took from Nicky Cook in March a celebration in front of his Puerto Rican fans, dominating late-replacement Viloria in impressive fashion before stopping him in the ninth round. Viloria was game but ineffective as Martinez cruised to set up a potential unification showdown with Robert Guerrero, an awesome slugfest on paper. A pay-per-view card headlined by Calderon against Viloria and Martinez against Guerrero in either California or Puerto Rico would be a lot more enticing than this card was.

Julio Cesar Chavez, Jr. KO.1 Jason LeHoullier/Fernando Montiel D.3 Alejandro Valdez/Z Gorres TKO.6 Cruz Carbajol/Donnie Nietes SD.12 Manuel Vargas (Saturday, September 12) – By far, the most noteworthy outcome of this fight was the extremely shady handling of the Montiel-Valdez fight by referee Jose Rivera and the Mexican commission. As you can see by watching the fight on YouTube, Montiel looked to have been shockingly stopped by Valdez in the third round, when his corner waved the bout off. Unfortunately for Valdez, Montiel was a Mexican champion fighting in Mexico and, after a series of horrible decisions by the referee, including not ruling a clear knockdown of Montiel in round two a knockdown and not ruling on the cut Valdez appeared to open with a punch, the fight was first ruled a draw, then awarded to Valdez, then reverted to a draw. I pray that an investigation into the result is established but, considering that the Mexican commission continues to allow Javier Capetillo to work in fighters’ corners, I am not expecting fairness or justice for Valdez.

In the “main event,” Chavez Jr. starched LeHoullier in slightly more time than it took for me not to care. In other action, Nietes escaped with a close split decision to retain his minimumweight trinket and Carbajal retired in the sixth against Gorres with a dislocated arm.

Notes from Bolivian

Yet more controversy tainted the non-televised cards this weekend, as British referee Terry O’Connor pulled a Van Hoy and gave young British heavyweight Tyson Fury a 98-92 decision over John McDermott in a fight that most ringside observers awarded to McDermott. The British Boxing Board of Control will hold a hearing on the result on September 23, according to the BBC, so hopefully justice can still be served. Still, not a good early sign for the much-hyped Fury… Christian Mijares has had a weird career. He lost three of his first 15 fights, including the only win of Alejandro Sosa’s career. Then he went 25-0-1 in his next 26 fights, unified titles at super flyweight, and entered pound-for-pound lists. Now he has lost three in a row after losing a clear decision to Nehomar Cermeno, who has beaten Mijares in consecutive fights. A closer examination of the run Mijares had on top reveals a lot of very close decision wins so perhaps he was slightly less of a world-beater than those who moved him up the pound-for-pound lists had thought.

Unlike many other boxing fans, I enjoy watching Floyd Mayweather, Jr. fight, more than I enjoy watching Oscar, in fact. Mayweather’s skills, speed, defense, and ring intelligence are awe-inspiring. While Mayweather is highly unlikely to ever be involved in a fight of the year candidate (at least in his prime), I find watching him dominate or disassemble good opponents (think Diego Corrales, Arturo Gatti and Ricky Hatton) very entertaining. I also appreciate his cartoonish, villainous persona outside the ring. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Mayweather appeared at Wrestlemania and on WWE’s Monday Night Raw; I think the inspiration for his villain schtick can be found in the great “heels” in wrestling. In fact, I would argue that Mayweather’s personality is basically a combination of Mr. Perfect and the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiose (two of my favorites as a child), only with a “gangsta” gloss.

Despite steady criticism from boxing fans and writers, Mayweather’s schtick works. Mayweather-De La Hoya garnered 2.4 million pay-per-view buys, topping Lennox Lewis-Mike Tyson for the largest boxing PPV audience in history. While many writers and fans like to attribute the record-breaking sales to De La Hoya, Mayweather’s role in the promotion cannot be ignored. Yes, De La Hoya was the A-side of the promotion, as he had been for more than a decade as he became the most lucrative pay-per-view fighter ever. However, Oscar fought on pay-per-view 19 times. He fought a number of huge fights against extremely popular, often legendary fighters: Felix Trinidad, Bernard Hopkins, Fernando Vargas, Shane Mosley (twice), Ike Quartey, Arturo Gatti. None of these opponents ever combined with Oscar to draw an audience of 2.1 million PPV buys. In fact, Oscar’s second highest-grossing fight, against Trinidad in 1999, drew 1.4 million buys, or 700,000 less than Oscar-Floyd. That difference would represent a hugely successful boxing pay-per-view on its own.

While I generally enjoy watching Mayweather, I would never deny his flaws in and out of the ring. As I stated, he is not going to be involved in many action fights, and the pace he sets can often be frustrating. He has also received justifiable criticism for his choice of opponents since he started fighting at junior welterweight in 2004. Against De La Hoya, his ability to stink up fights was in full effect. However, De La Hoya was a very viable opponent, one that, in retrospect, I do not believe Mayweather gets enough credit for fighting.

In anticipation of Mayweather-Marquez and in light of Oscar’s blog post, I will revisit the biggest and boringest pay-per-view draw in boxing history, Mayweather-De La Hoya. I will see if Floyd looks as vulnerable as Oscar remembers. I will see, once again, if I can find some way to justify Tom Kaczmarek’s scorecard, which gave the fight to De La Hoya. I never have before (and yes, I’ve already watched this fight multiple times; my wrestling persona would be the Magnificent Masochist). This assumes, of course, that I will find some way to stay awake.

My running comments on Mayweather-De La Hoya follow. Times represent roughly where on my DVD of the fight I am commenting.

2:25 – James Brown (the sports announcer, not the running back) is giving us a rundown of the celebrities in attendance, including Matthew McCconaughey (from, of course, “Failure to Launch,” James points out), John Madden, Al Michaels, Tom Jones, Jack Nicholson, John McCain, Wesley Snipes, and, of course, Diddy.

3:23 – Talking to Max Kellerman and Lennox Lewis before the fight, James Brown asks my least favorite question: Can this fight “save boxing”? Max says no, it’s can’t save the sport (thank you Max), but he does, presciently, predict that a dull fight and a controversial decision are possible and such a result would be bad for boxing. In everyone’s eyes he was right on the first point and, while the decision wasn’t necessarily controversial since nearly everyone agrees that Mayweather won the fight, I thought the split decision was too generous to Oscar. However, somehow the sport survived.

I am a huge Kellerman fan. His radio show on ESPN Radio in New York was essential listening as far as I was concerned until he was abruptly replaced by the insufferable Brandon Tierney. I hope he continues to develop as I think he is an ideal heir to Larry Merchant’s role in the future.

4:58 – Lennox expects an unbelievable fight. I also like Lennox, but mostly for comic relief.

6:10 – We go down to Jim Lampley, who evokes Oscar-Trinidad and Lewis-Tyson as huge fights that resulted in boring action and bad decisions. In retrospect, it comes across like talking about a no-hitter before the game even starts.

13:45 – Am I going to hell because I fast-forward through national anthems when I rewatch fights?

13:56 – Time for the tale of the tape. I thought it was significantly underplayed that Floyd came into the fight at 150 pounds, a full four pounds below the junior middleweight limit for the fight, while Oscar came in at the 154-pound limit.

16:01 – I still love Floyd’s homage to uncle Roger, walking to the ring in a backward sombrero to fight the Mexican-American De La Hoya. He’s a calculated villain, people. Walking to the ring accompanied by a rhyming 50 Cent doesn’t hurt.

18:46 – Oscar’s title fight record is pretty astounding: 24-4 (17 KO).

19:03 – Larry points out that Floyd is a “boxing star,” while Oscar is a “box-office superstar.” He gives a list of valid reasons: Olympic results, looks, style, and fan base among them. Times have changed, though. While Floyd will never be a star of Oscar’s luminescence, he has certainly transcended boxing in the last two years to become a full-blown star.

22:50 – Just watching the spectacle of Michael Buffer’s pre-fight introductions makes me giddy about the upcoming superfights.

24:54 – Receiving Kenny Bayless’s instructions, Mayweather is tangibly smaller than Oscar. I still believe that if this Mayweather had fought the Oscar that faced Pacquiao, Floyd would have scored a dominant knockout similar to Manny’s.

26:22 – Oscar starts with what he does a lot early in this fight – flurrying awkwardly and ineffectively at Mayweather’s body, missing frequently but exciting the crowd. Floyd is doing a looooooot of dancing away and pot-shotting.

28:34 – Not much to write home about in round one. I give it to Floyd for his ring generalship and defense. CompuBox gave Oscar credit for landing exactly three punches.

29:57 – Round two starts better for Oscar, as he lands a decent left hook and a good right. He still throws ridiculous wild hooks when they are tied up that look like a waste of energy to me, but Oscar clearly wins round two. Floyd still got credit for landing almost as many punches as Oscar while throwing less.

33:41 – Floyd lands a good straight right and avoids a flurry from Oscar but Oscar gets Floyd into a corner and lands punches in a flurry. For all of Oscar’s talk recently about how Floyd can’t avoid a jab, Floyd’s jab is finding a home whenever he decides to throw it. After Oscar controlled the early part of the round, Floyd is doing good work in the last two minutes. I gave that round to Floyd, though Emanuel liked Oscar in that round.

36:49 – Freddie Roach implores Oscar to throw his jab more between rounds three and four. Expect that to become a theme.

39:15 – Round four is dull until Oscar gets Floyd against the ropes and throws five or six consecutive left hooks to Floyd’s body. Emanuel and Larry both point out that those punches didn’t really land, but they did excite the crowd and probably influenced the judges. They should not have, because they were ineffective arm punches, but the activity alone is probably enough to give Oscar a close, pretty lackluster round.

40:53 – Floyd has landed four more power punches than Oscar while throwing half as many. Is Oscar really so convinced that this was such an “easy” fight? Lederman gave that round to Floyd, by the way.

41:54 – For the first time in the fight, Floyd throws what I feel becomes his best combination – a lead left uppercut followed by a straight right hand. Then Oscar mauls ineffectively and Floyd counters with a clean, straight right hand. I haven’t watched this fight in a while and I honestly remember favoring De La Hoya more in the early rounds than I do now. Floyd is letting more punches go at the end of round five than he has in the fight and he’s landing clean hard shots. This was Floyd’s best round of the fight so far and a pretty entertaining one, to be honest.

45:51 – Floyd lands a beautiful right uppercut early in round six. Oscar leans forward too much for my taste and Floyd exploits it beautifully.

47:21 – A big right hand from Oscar draws a smile from Floyd and jabs keep Floyd off-balance. It’s still a tight round that could go either way, as Floyd’s punches are clearly so much more precise than Oscar’s but Oscar probably did enough to win it. Although this fight has a reputation for being boring, it’s really not. It’s just highly tactical. Both guys are fighting their fight. Neither is running, clinching egregiously, or fouling excessively. It’s just not a barn burner.

50:45 – Oscar throws some good jabs early in round seven but then forgets about it as Floyd begins to pile up punches. Great counters by Floyd to Oscar’s body. More ineffective mauling from Oscar, more precise counters from Floyd. I give round seven to Mayweather, although it was very close. Larry gave it to Oscar, so our cards are now the same, with Mayweather ahead by a round.

54:28 – Oscar’s jab is effective early in round eight. Floyd slows things down in the middle of the ring and lands a good right hand. He then throws two of the uppercut/straight right combinations that he can land at will. Lampley, Stewart, and Merchant all criticize Floyd and feel Oscar is coming on, but I just don’t see it. I still see Oscar mauling and throwing arm punches. CompuBox credits Floyd for landing more punches and being far more accurate in this round, despite the concerns of the booth. Harold also gave that round to Floyd.

58:03 – Manny keeps saying that Floyd can’t land punches on Oscar. To be honest, I think Manny is a crappy analyst. Floyd is dominating Oscar in round nine before Oscar throws another arm flurry in the corner. Lampley at least acknowledges the CompuBox numbers as Oscar is getting picked apart by Floyd. Manny is suddenly silent. Round nine was the most one-sided round so far and Floyd controlled it. Of course, right after I type that, Lampley says that it was one of the toughest rounds to score. Are they watching the same fight I am?

1:02:14 – Floyd is apparently ahead on everybody’s cards, either 5-4 or 6-3 in rounds, yet the entire commentary has been critical of Floyd and in praise of Oscar. I do not like to advance conspiracy theories but Floyd may have a point about the way he is analyzed by HBO.

1:03:44 – The defensive prowess of Floyd is on full effect in round ten. He is, quite simply, making Oscar look amateurish. A big straight right hand at the bell punctuates another round for Floyd. I’ve got Mayweather well ahead right now. This is the fifth or sixth time I’ve watched this fight and I still have no idea how Tommy K found seven rounds to give to Oscar.

1:06:34 – “This is becoming like a sparring session for Mayweather.” Remember, Oscar called Floyd an “easy” opponent. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Oscar look like a sparring partner against an easy opponent.

1:08:23 – Oscar lands his biggest punch in several rounds seconds before the end of round eleven. I still think Floyd controlled the round, and CompuBox had him outlanding Oscar by a 26 to 8 margin.

1:09:30 – Despite the nature of the fight, the crowd is still electric going into the final round. “Mayweather has no answer for Oscar’s jab,” Manny says. If I were Floyd, I would say that my answer was landing twice as many punches over the course of the fight as Oscar did. I honestly never noticed before but Manny’s commentary is blatantly anti-Floyd in this fight.

1:12:54 – “A better fight than many people anticipated,” Lampley says. It’s a better fight than I anticipated, honestly, and I’ve seen it before.

1:15:15 – The look on Floyd’s face when Buffer read Tommy Kaczmarek’s scorecard was priceless. The confusion in the crowd when Buffer read, “… and NEW” was even better, as the forgot that Oscar was the titlist coming in. Floyd landed 85 more punches than Oscar and threw 106 less. Floyd landed more power shots than Oscar landed total punches. Floyd’s connect percentage on power shots was an outrageous 57%. To me, Tommy K’s scorecard was easily as egregiously misrepresentative of this fight as Gale Van Hoy’s scorecard was misrepresentative in the Diaz-Malignaggi fight. I have to give Malignaggi credit for stirring the uproar, as this was a much higher-profile fight with a questionable scorecard and nobody really contested Kaczmarek’s judgment. However, anyone who claims now that Mayweather did anything other than control and clearly win this fight is a revisionist. Oscar was competitive, but Floyd was clearly much, much better.

1:18:44 – In the post-fight interview, Larry asked why it was a split decision and Floyd answered, “Well, we’re going against Golden Boy Promotions…” So THAT’S where Paulie got the idea!

1:20:57 – The Mayweather retirement talk continues between Lampley and Stewart. The more things change…

1:21:42 – Oscar felt he won the fight. Good for him. He didn’t. “Every time I hit him I would hurt him,” Oscar said. I don’t think I saw Floyd shaken once, but OK, whatever. De La Hoya reminds me why I find him annoying in the post-fight interview. He sounds a lot more like a public relations guy trying to spin the results than a fighter talking about his performance.

1:24:15 – I totally forgot the Floyd Sr. interview! Maybe my favorite part of the fight. Senior thought that Oscar won the fight, seemingly because Floyd wasn’t the aggressor. Does anybody know about how a fight is supposed to be scored? Honestly, the elder Floyd sounds like he really doesn’t know what to say. To be fair, it had to have been hours since he had enjoyed some Taco Bell and he may have been feeling depleted.

1:26:11 – Manny is finally critical of Oscar for not throwing the jab in the second half of the fight and for not knowing why he stopped throwing it in the post-fight interview. At least he saw the light a little bit by the end of things. Lampley and Co. express interest in seeing a rematch. Merchant is the only dissenter, and his general closing comments are a reminder why he is such a treasured part of the sport.

So that was Mayweather-De La Hoya, a decisive win for Floyd in a fight I found more interesting than I remembered. Perhaps I am a little more nuanced as a boxing fan now than I was two years ago so that I appreciate Floyd’s defensive mastery and offensive efficiency even more than I used to. Regardless, Mayweather-De La Hoya was no fight of the year candidate, but it probably should not have been a Quiet Man Hug candidate, either.

This mental midgetry, of course, preceeded last Saturday’s episode of Mayweather-Marquez 24/7, in which Marquez introduced us to a disgusting nauseating unique diet consisting of raw quail eggs and, to wash down the “turkey boogers,” a nice, warm glass of his own pee. That’s right, Juan Manuel Marquez drinks his own pee. He did so on HBO. It’s like the fantasy league suddenly tapped into the zeitgeist. Shortly thereafter, “Bebedores de Orina” was born. All that remains is to draft a champion.

Of course, I had lots of time over the past week or so to think about fantasy football and piss drinkers because boxing was taking a bit of a breather. Now, with Labor Day but a memory, baseball pennent races heating up, and football’s opening day on the immenent horizon, boxing’s highly anticipated fall season begins this weekend with something of an appetizer, as Showtime features Mikkel Kessler and Andre Ward in tune-up fights for the upcoming Super Six tournament and Ivan Calderon and Julio Cesar Chavez, Jr. headline separate, small pay-per-view cards. There are some other fights of some note as well, including Christian Mijares in a must-win bout and Tyson Fury in a step-up fight.

THE MAIN EVENTS

Ivan Calderon vs Rodel Mayol, rematch (Saturday, September 12, PPV) - I probably should have started my preview with the Mikkel Kessler/Andre Ward split site doubleheader on Showtime but this is the fight I am most anticipating for the weekend. Calderon is a boxing master and a pound-for-pound presence for the last few years despite fighting in the smallest weight classes. He may have peaked with his two wins over tough Hugo Cazares as he looks to have lost half a step since. Calderon was expected to win the first matchup with ease but Mayol put forth a solid effort and an accidental cut led to an early stoppage and a technical draw. It was the second fight in a row for Calderon in which he suffered a cut (both accidental) that caused a premature stoppage. Vulnerability adds a lot of drama to Calderon fights, helping to counteract his complete lack of power, and he looks very vulnerable going into this one. I expect Calderon to look better than he did the first time he met Mayol (the events surrounding that fight, on the Miguel Cotto-Joshua Clottey undercard in Madison Square Garden on the eve of the Puerto Rican Day parade, may have roused some nerves in Calderon) but it remains to be seen how much the little technician has left in the tank.

Mikkel Kessler vs Gusmyr Perdomo (Saturday, September 12, Showtime) – The Viking Warrior has been more like the Viking Litigator over the past year, spending a lot more time in court over promotional suits than he has in the ring. That all changes in the upcoming Super Six tournament, when Kessler weans off the steady diet of nobodies he has fought since losing to Joe Calzaghe and faces some of the best in the division. Understandably, due to the layoff Kessler decided to take a tune-up fight against Perdomo, who closely resembles the last two no-hopers Kessler fought. In fact, he lost to one of them, Dmitri Sartison. While Perdomo is highly unlikely to seriously challenge Kessler, at least he has never been stopped, giving Kessler a minor opportunity to provide some intrigue.

Andre Ward vs Shelby Pudwill (Saturday, September 12, Showtime) – Little known fact: Gusmyr Perdomo is Dutch for “Shelby Pudwill.” Just kidding, that’s an insult to Perdomo. Not to be outdone in the tune-up for the Super Six game, Ward follows the biggest test of his young career, a win against Edison Miranda, with a fight against a guy who has no business being in the ring with him. Pudwill has fought just once since getting knocked out in the first round by John Duddy in early 2006 and that fight, a win over a 7-27-1 fighter named Anthony Osbourne, was more than a year ago. It should be a very short night for Ward.

Julio Cesar Chavez, Jr. vs Jason LeHoullier (Saturday, September 12, PPV) – Ideally, I would like to purchase both pay-per-view cards on Saturday, but I am extremely reluctant to buy another Chavez, Jr. card. LeHoullier isn’t a bad opponent; given Chavez’s resume, he’s probably the best opponent the legend’s son has faced. I just have a hard time getting excited about it. If Chavez wins, and then steps up again, I will have to pay attention. I just wish I didn’t have to pay a $34.95 price. I wouldn’t be surprised if LeHoullier pulls off the upset, but I wouldn’t count on it.

NOTES ON THE UNDERCARDS

Calderon-Mayol II is the better headline fight, but Chavez Jr.-LeHoullier arguably features the better undercard. Fernando Montiel defends his WBO trinket against Alejandro Valdez, another seemingly undeserving challenger for Montiel. I would more strongly consider buying the card if Montiel was fighting Eric Morel, as has been discussed seemingly forever. Donnie Nietes also appears on the Chavez undercard, taking on Manuel Vargas in a pretty good strawweight matchup. Filipino Z Gorres, who lost a split decision to Montiel in 2007, will fight Cruz Carbajal in the other televised bout. Also of note, faded Jose Luis Castillo and prospect Brandon Rios are featured in separate bouts on the non-televised portion of the card… The Calderon undercard is not as deep, but exciting, unbeaten super featherweight Roman Martinez fights in the co-feature, facing the completely untested and unknown Vincente Martin Rodriguez… The most noteworthy non-televised fight of the weekend is the rematch between former pound-for-pound entrant Christian Mijares and Nehomar Cermeno, who took a surprising decision from Mijares in March. This is a make-or-break fight for Mijares, who cannot afford to lose his third fight in a row… On Friday in the UK, young British heavyweight giant Tyson Fury fights John McDermott in Fury’s first scheduled ten-round fight. McDermott is coming off consecutive close losses to Danny Williams and is a very legitimate test for Fury, who will be fighting for only the eighth time.

OK, so it’s probably the slowest boxing weekend of the year. I’ll probably be taking a short break from the blogging, but I will be watching the second installment of Mayweather-Marquez 24/7 on Saturday and, if I miss the lamplight enough, I might just have something to say about it.

Otherwise, happy Labor Day weekend. Next weekend really is packed, so rest up while you can!

As someone with no real stake in playing things professionally here, as I write a tiny personal blog about boxing without ties to corporate giants like ESPN and can pretty much say whatever I want (having only myself to answer to), I would just like to take a moment to extend a big, giant, heartfelt and entirely sincere FUCK YOU to Mr. Jake Rossen.

Fuck you, Jake. In case you missed the last one.

Are such primitive vulgarities appropriate in this forum? If I have a problem with Mr. Rossen’s position, shouldn’t I simply outline my position and counter-arguments and expect the weight of fact and truth to bear out? Those are fair points; however, countering Rossen’s arguments and positions is ultimately moot. I truly believe that Mr. Rossen is entirely disinterested in justifying his arguments because his goal is simply to make them. The Internet culture moves too fast for justification.

Every time Mr. Rossen writes an article comparing MMA and boxing (which he does all the time; if you don’t believe me, check out this, or this, or, my absolute personal favorite, this) on a mainstream Web site like ESPN.com, he advances the narrative in favor of his position. He keeps the subject in the news cycle, regardless of relevance or accuracy. Worst of all, he gives justification and references for future writers who want to say things like, “the death of boxing and rise of MMA have been well-documented.”

In essence, he is not a writer covering a story, he is a writer creating the story. That’s fine in fiction but I have real issues when this permeates the news landscape, even in something as ultimately inessential as sports (especially fringe sports). Every article he writes about MMA vs boxing gives more creedence to the idea that there actually is some sort of battle between MMA and boxing.

Other than people on the business end of these sports, like Dana White and Richard Schaefer and Bob Arum, why exactly should fans care about the relative ratings, pay-per-view buys, and attendance figures for the two sports? Who is this battle relevant to, exactly, except for Mr. Rossen (for whatever reason) and some businessmen? If UFC gets more pay-per-view buys on September 19 than the Floyd Mayweather-Juan Manuel Marquez pay-per-view, will boxers just stop fighting? Will the sport just go away? If Mayweather-Marquez outsells UFC, will Dana White fold his company? What are the stakes here, exactly?

There are no stakes here, because the boxing vs MMA “feud” is a lot of marketing hogwash and blowhard nonsense. MMA is a growing sport that will probably continue to grow. Boxing is an entrenched worldwide sport that isn’t going anywhere, no matter how many petty blog posts Rossen puts together. Some fans will overlap both sports, and some will pick one that they like. Many sports fans will continue to ignore the existence of both.

So Jake, how about you and I revert to writing about the sport that we actually care about. I know this will be my last blog post ever regarding MMA/boxing. Something tells me, however, that your name will pop up on my GoogleNews boxing feed again.

Before I go, Mr. Rossen’s latest boxing/MMA article was laced with so many misleading, unsupported, or flat-out bullshit points that I feel compelled to address the main ones. Then, I promise, I’m done. Seriously.

• “Today, the [boxing heavyweight] title is a joke… owned by no fewer than three fighters, including two brothers — Wladimir and Vitali Klitschko — who will never fight to unify their pieces” – First of all, Wladimir Klitschko is the heavyweight champion of the world as acknowledge by the vast majority of boxing fans, the writers, and Ring Magazine. There are other titlists but there is one champion. Rossen could have probably found that information on the boxing page of ESPN.com, the outlet for which he writes, where Wladimir is listed as the number one heavyweight, or on the Ring Magazine Web site, where Wladimir is listed as champion. Second, I have never understood those who want to see Wladimir and Vitali fight. In my opinion the Williams sisters have never played a really compelling match against each other because their competitive spirit is somewhat compromised, and that is in tennis, not boxing. Klitschko-Klistchko would be either tragically dull or just tragic, but no good could come of it
• “[Boxing] does nearly everything wrong. And when it does something right — awarding Floyd Mayweather-Oscar De La Hoya a record 2 million-plus buy rate in 2007 — it lacks the cohesiveness to follow up with another big bout to capitalize.” – Wow, did this little paragraph anger me. I’ll leave the part about doing everything wrong alone because it’s not worth my time. Boxing didn’t “award” Mayweather-De La Hoya 2.4 million buys. PPV buys are earned from fans, a shitload of whom apparently wanted to see that fight. As far as lacking cohesiveness to follow with another big bout, this is the timeline since Mayweather-De La Hoya: Mayweather fought Hatton (about 900,000 PPV buys), Pacquiao fought De La Hoya (about 1.2 million PPV buys), Pacquiao fought Hatton (about 800,000 PPV buys), and upcoming fights feature Mayweather against Marquez and Pacquiao against Cotto, with the winners of those fights destined to square off in a mega-fight in 2010. So… what the fuck is he talking about?
• Rossen then does a whole lot of Brock Lesnar blowing about how he’s the champ and the most popular fighter in the promotion so he’s something like a cross between a Greek god and Muhammad Ali. My favorite line tucked in here is this: “You like Brock Lesnar? You will get more Brock Lesnar. Shane Carwin has earned a title shot? Shane Carwin isn’t owned by a competing promoter. Shane Carwin will fight Brock Lesnar.” OK, so I’m supposed to bow to Dana White for having a former professional wrestler as heavyweight champ with six professional fights in his sport (and a 1-1 record against the guy from whom he took the title) and a contender in his promotion? Great. The funny part comes in when Rossen talks about the competing promoter, because that is the real elephant in the room. For a guy who is so confused by having three titlists (not champions) in boxing, he seems to have a better grasp than I on why Brock Lesnar should be considered an undisputed kingpin when Fedor Emelienenko, a fighter with a resume that takes a giant elephant dump on Lesnar’s, was the champ in other promotions and has, in my eye, a much more legitimate claim to being the best heavyweight in the world right now than Lesnar. Sorry, Jake, if you wanted to flaunt a UFC champion you should not have picked a division where the UFC champion is clearly not the best fighter in the world at his weight. Rossen mentions Fedor after a lot of hyping of current rising UFC heavyweights (I’m not saying they’re bad, they might all be badass killers in the Octagon), but disparages him by saying he’s been “mythologized” by the media as the greatest heavyweight alive. Fedor’s record, however, is no myth. Neither is Lesnar’s record. I’ll let you compare the relative merits for yourselves, but this to me is the clearest example of a guy making the real world fit his story rather than fitting his story around the real world. Oh, then he says having multiple champs and doubts about Lesnar is a good thing for MMA, while of course it’s bad for boxing. Also, when boxers get punched in the head they get brain damage, but when MMA fighters get punched in the head fruit juice runs out their nose, candy explodes from their cuts, and they actually become more intelligent because of the brain trauma
• “At the end of Emelianenko’s contract, Strikeforce will be hard-pressed to match the UFC’s offer. At the same time, boxing will be hard-pressed to match the primary reason for MMA’s rapidly growing influence: the promise of a truly undisputed champion.” This concluding paragraph from Rossen just rules. It is literally nothing but bullshit. UFC has made multiple offers to Fedor in the past and has never been able to sign him. However, Rossen just KNOWS that the organization that beat out UFC for Fedor (Strikeforce) has no chance of signing him again. Beyond that, boxing already has an undisputed heavyweight champion.

OK, now I’m done. That will be my last contribution to this idiotic topic and my last acknowledgment of Mr. Rossen. I just had to get that all off my chest.

Photo courtesy of ESPN.com

Good fights remind us why we love boxing. The atmosphere of an ecstatic crowd, the tension that builds when two fighters refuse to back down, the drama that unfolds as adversities mount – these fights write the history of the sport. Robinson-LaMotta. Graziano-Zale. Ali-Frazier. Hagler-Hears. Castillo-Corrales. Vazquez-Marquez.

However, like most objects of love, boxing is not perfect. For every fight that history reveres, there is a Klitschko-Ibragimov. For every fighter whose name evokes all-action wars of historical drama - Arturo Gatti - there is a fighter whose very mention triggers a primal dread, a queasy hopelessness stemming from the certainty of interminable boredom – John Ruiz.

History chooses to remember the great fights and forget the worst. When I Google “worst boxing fight of all-time” I get 1.9 million hits. None of them makes any actual attempt to compile any worst-of list. “Greatest boxing fight of all-time” results in 20.9 million hits. We’ve all seen writer’s list of favorite/best fights, but how many bad fights get such recognition? I’m here to change that. “The Quiet Man Hug” will, when my stomach can handle it, review some of the more memorably miserable matchups in boxing’s colorful history (yes, I’m sort of stealing this concept from Nathan Rabin’s My Year of Flops column on the Onion AV Club, but I’m giving him credit and pimping his Web site, which needs not my pimping, so we’re cool). No longer will the Akinwandes and Gainers be denied their place in history. Billy Dibb may soon see a curious uptick in his YouTube hits. Most importantly, Nikolay Valuev will be regarded as more than just a hairy, bald, seven-foot freak show. He will be regarded as a hairy, bald, seven-foot freak show who participated in some epically bad fights.

The first entry in “The Quiet Man Hug” was inspired by a very good fight and one of the best post-fight rants I have ever heard. Paulie Malignaggi’s fight with Juan Diaz generated a lot of controversy over Malignaggi’s seemingly justified pre-fight assertions that he couldn’t get a fair fight in Texas. Malignaggi has garnered a lot of sympathy out of the experience and, honestly, is probably in a better position than he would have been if, say, Diaz had won a split decision with Gale Van Hoy giving the nod to Malignaggi and the other two judge’s cards remaining the same. However, while Diaz-Malignaggi was an action-packed stylistic clash and Malignaggi has produced some good fights before, his recent performances had been much less satisfying than his battle with Diaz and his post-fight rant.

Without further ado (and come on, that’s only like four or five paragraphs of ado), that brings me to Paulie Malignaggi’s May 24, 2008 rematch against Lovemore N’dou in Manchester. The fight was on the undercard of Ricky Hatton’s bout with Juan Lazcano; the purpose of the card being to set up a Hatton-Malignaggi bout for that fall in front of Hatton’s adoring Manchester crowd. While Malignaggi dominated N’dou in their first meeting, sweeping a nearly unanimous decision, the second matchup played out much differently. It may have had something to do with a “wardrobe malfunction,” if fake hair can be considered wardrobe.

So here we go, every miserable minute of Malignaggi-N’dou II – The Barbershop Brawl. You didn’t ask for it, but you got it.

0:00 – So I will be throwing out my comments, reflections, etc. at times while I watch the fight, with the time corresponding to my DVD of the fight. This concept I stole from Bill Simmons’ various diaries on ESPN2. Yeah, that’s right, I did it again. I steal. I’ve got kids to feed… (no, I don’t).

1:20 – Lovemore N’dou’s nickname is “The Black Panther Reloaded,” which sounds like a crappy direct-to-DVD remake of a 1970s Fred Williamson flick.

2:20 – Wally Matthews calls out Paulie Malignaggi’s hair extensions and Nick Charles (get well soon, Nick) wonders aloud whether they will affect him in the fight. If this were a story, we’d call that “foreshadowing,” but Charles apparently thought about the consequences more than Paulie did.

4:11 – “Can you imagine blowing a title because of hair extensions?” Matthews asks a little more than a minute into the fight. Malignaggi and N’dou are actually engaging sometimes, and N’dou lands a couple of right hands with Paulie partially blinded by his stupid hair, but there are already a few ominous moments of hugging and posing.

6:30 – “Now he’s got a ponytail working.” Charles and Matthews are all over Paulie’s hair. They gave the first round to N’dou and so did I. Not much happening in round two. More hugging, more posing. It’s more N’dou than Paulie, but Malignaggi is letting himself get tied up and he’s too tentative to engage. At least the hair isn’t in Malignaggi’s eyes in this round, but it’s a good thing Versus did not have CompuBox numbers because they wouldn’t be pretty. Lots of missed punches.

11:10 – It strikes me as N’dou is warned for hitting behind the head that Paulie may be entirely dependent on his opponent to produce good fights. His best fights were against Diaz and his slugfest with Miguel Cotto in 2006. He can be entertaining enough when he completely outclasses and outboxes his opponents, as he did in the first fight with N’dou, but when it gets ugly, it can get really ugly.

14:13 – The hair is coming loose again. I feel like Malignaggi’s hair extensions should have an ominous musical cue, like Michael Myers.

16:03 – Charles notes how emotional Paulie was and how everything (his hair, his eye, which was cut slightly) seemed to be bothering him in the corner. Paulie? Emotional? Never…

17:04 – Both announcers acknowledge that the crowd is less than thrilled at this point, a minute into round five. Malignaggi gets hit and starts shaking the hair out of his face again. I’m amazed that Paulie did not decide to revisit hair extensions for the Diaz fight. Maybe if they ever get a rematch, he’ll consider it.

20:31 – I was a little annoyed with some British fans who criticized the referee work of Joe Cortez in the Mayweather-Hatton fight, when they said Cortez was too quick to break the fighters on the inside. They must be used to longtime British referee Mickey Vann, who apparently hasn’t seen a clinch worth breaking in his career. The result, in my opinion, is a dreadfully boring fight with a mind-numbing pattern: dance, dance, dance, single punch, fall in, clinch, clinch, clinch, clinch, shoeshine out, repeat.

24:43 – After landing a few good right hands earlier in the seventh round, N’dou lands the biggest punch of the fight with about a half-minute left in the round, a big right hand that clearly stuns Paulie. Paulie is ahead in the fight, but he’s been lackluster, he’s starting to get hit, and his idiotic hair is looming.

26:40 – The hair time-out! Round eight is stopped, Buddy McGirt gives Paulie a trim, Mickey Vann holds Paulie’s hair to be tied up, and the British crowd boos lustily. At this point, a giant cane should grab Paulie around the waist and drag him out of the ring.

28:10 – N’dou is gaining momentum and landing right hands with more regularity. Malignaggi is clinching more and boxing less. “Just a miserable round eight,” says Matthews. At least he’s being honest. The announcing has been a lot better than the fight.

29:45 – After a trim early in the eighth round, Paulie gets a military cut in between eight and nine. The extensions are not nearly as resilient as Michael Myers, I guess. Meanwhile, the crowd is chanting “Hatton Wonderland” and Wally has N’dou within two rounds of Paulie. I have the same score.

32:40 – N’dou, on my card, takes his third round in a row and closes to within 5-4 in rounds. Paulie is doing basically nothing right now as Versus shows the replay of Paulie’s haircut. Buddy tells Paulie he’s winning, “but it’s close.” I guess Buddy was a better analyst than trainer for Paulie.

35:22 – Charles laments the lack of body work and claims that both fighters have been headhunting. I find that an insult to hunting.

36:58 – Championship rounds begin with an extended warning and talk from Mickey Vann. I like that a lot more than his lack of breaking clinches. To say the least, the warnings are appropriate or, as the French would say, “about fucking time.”

38:42 – Charles and Matthews are castigating N’dou for not being aggressive enough as Paulie has slowed noticeably late in the fight. When Charles notes that Paulie has probably won the eleventh, Matthews replies bitterly, “But as a boxing match, it’s a mess.” Yeah, it’s a mess all right.

41:11 – Malignaggi walks into a huge right hand from N’dou. Malignaggi is in survival mode in the last round.

43:06 – “Lackluster performance by the champion,” Charles concludes. “BOOOOOOOOOO” the crowd offers.

45:13 – Michael Buffer reads the scorecards. A card in favor of N’dou is read first and cheered. A card in favor of Malignaggi is booed and the decision, again in favor of Malignaggi, is even more lustily booed. Malignaggi is motioning to the crowd that his hand is hurt and Matthews and Charles report that he broke his right hand. Matthews, who did an admirable job along with Charles commenting on this crap, notes that he still doesn’t understand why Paulie didn’t use his left hand in the last handful of rounds. I concur, Wally.

So that’s it. While Malignaggi may not have stolen a decision, he certainly did nothing to inspire the British crowd to expect much from him against Hatton. He went on to deliver an even less effective performance in that fight before an easier comeback fight and then the controversy with Diaz. Hatton would look shaky against Lazcano but then beat Malignaggi decisively. Now, Hatton’s future as a fighter is unknown after his crushing knockout loss to Pacquiao, while Paulie is suddenly the boxing fan’s darling.

I wonder how I would have responded to someone who outlined this scenario for me fifteen months ago. I probably would have told him to get a haircut, hippie.